On furrows and the perception of memories

Let's start off with a nicely rounded cliché: time does wash away your memories, or cleanse them at least.  I've had many discoveries in a single evening that's made me see this particularly clear for once.

A friend of mine has an entirely different remembrance of a night that was dearly important to me, and life-changing in many ways. Her memories are close to non-existent and I don't think it changed a thing for her. This is sad, I guess, because it could've meant a lot more to both of us if we could share a memory, while in other ways it makes sense... It really underlines the fact that we all perceive situations uniquely. Some people seem to be doing just fine till they suddenly fall apart and shatters on the floor, and it's a great surprise to everybody; and I've tried it the other way around too, being very sure my friend was deeply upset and on the verge of crying during a phone call, till I found out she was just calling her dentist to make a new appointment. Ha. Intuition is good but bad intuition happens all the time, too...

Another remark: What's important now will not be important tomorrow.
...Figuratively speaking, since my exam preperations were important today and most certainly are more important tomorrow...(!!)
Joke aside, the important things remain important but they don't remain the same things. I came to realize because I was chatting with my friend's little sister. She told me how a bunch of girls at her school was  creating drama and stuff, like girls do. And she got this furrow in her forehead, it was so clear how it bothered her a lot and she was in want of a solution.
A few hours later I was talking to her big sister about this party she didn't want to attend. My friend would really just like to stay put, watch a show on tv and avoid the necessary small talk with semi-strangers etc. The same furrow appeared! Her problem was very easily understood, too. Of course, turning down the invitation would be a bit rude (it was a birthday party and she was obviously invited by request from a friend), but on the other hand, she really didn't feel like going. And this she t returned to more than twice in our conversation, in need of a solution as well.

Furrows happen to all of us. I couldn't stop thinking that both of the girls' problems were really just small ripples on a greater stream; in half a year, they'll definitely have forgotten those problems. They're simply too small to save in your memory. Then how about in ten, or in twenty years? Imagine how many problems will have drowned in that great stream, how much we'll have forgotten by then? There's really no end to experiences nor to problems as such. I'm afraid in a few years I'll look back at my time in school and only remember a few things exact; the rest will be shadows. The rest will be this great mass of uncertainty, memories I'll make up again along the way, trying to make them fit into my own view of my time in school and so on. I might think back and think of myself as a quiet, tea-drinking girl cuddled in bed with a book and a blanket, or as the girl in the middle of all of the awesome friends she had, laughing and smiling her way through each class, or... well, I'm tired. I'm not up for a lot of great examples that differs from each other, haha. I just hope I'll look back in time with a view with as much nuance as I have now. Of course, I know it's impossible. The now and the tomorrow are too important to let us spend a lot of energy on memories past. I know that from looking back just one year, or two or five. Nuances disappears. Luckily, new ones keep on coming. I guess one could get used to that.

Follies

I have currently three follies in my life; they are all of the silly, but very explanatory kind. I realize now that there's really not much to say about 'em, except the fact that they're there and I enjoy it with a slight bemusement. Which is, by the way, a thing I've really come to like in myself -- the ability to accept a lot of things and feelings with interest and little judgement. Well, here they are.

1. Teacher crush (mostly in the figurative sense; as in, wanting the knowledge and abilities of the teacher.)
2. Young boy crush (he's three years my junior and let's not consider it a crush really, it's just, he's really nice to be around.)
3. School project crush (this is almost serious enough to avoid paranthesises... I really like my project. And it's entirely my thing. It's like being on the edge to solve something great without really being sure what I'm about to solve.)

That was it... it was silly to write it down really. It's just, since no one asks, I almost feel obliged to announce it anyway. ...Sounds rather pathetic! It's not, it's quite interesting actually, the need to write things or talk about things or draw attention to certain things, which I'm honestly quite sure I wouldn't like to discuss face to face with that many people. Or with none, I think. It's so easy to be judged... Sometimes I just want to be my own judge and accept things quietly and peacefully, and stop the antagonizing of those feelings that aren't really reasonable or responsible or entirely good. I don't think we're supposed to have that sort of control really; only we should be able to accept and 'cooperate' with our feelings and that'll be that.